


What's his name Again? (Beetlejuice au)

by SanderRohde



Series: Beetle juice au [1]
Category: Beetlejuice (1988), Beetlejuice - Perfect/Brown & King, Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alcohol references, Innuendo, Intrusive Thoughts is Beetlejuice, Logan and Patton are the Maitlands, M/M, My First AO3 Post, Remus being Remus, Spoilers for new video Dealing with Intrusive Thoughts, Virgil Sanders is Lydia, Warning: Suicide Attempt, more to come - Freeform, now I post here, was a lurker
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2020-05-31 07:51:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19421656
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SanderRohde/pseuds/SanderRohde
Summary: When two dead people, well, die, their status as a happy couple doesn't change exactly, but certainly changes how one views it. When the Deetz-Picani’s move into the Maitland's old house, they eventually have no choice but to call for the Spirit with Merit, Remus 'the Duke' Prince. This causes a whole hullabaloo, and the rest is history.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on Helldriiven on YouTube's au. Some characters or details may be changed up as I go along with this.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr and Mr Maitland discover the fact that they may in fact be dead. This is rather troubling, as can be said about such a circumstance. Meanwhile, Remy and D. take advantage of a dinner reservation, and Remy gets Starbucks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! This is my first time posting on here, and I don't have a beta reader, so forgive me for any mistakes. This is loosely based off of the Beetlejuice au animatic that Helldriiven posted on YouTube. Some characters may be changed around at my convenience.

Logan and Patton were a happy couple. Sure they had their differences, but then again, so did everyone else. They liked to think their relationship was just as normal as anyone else's was. 

Four years to the dot they married. Thirteen years they had known each other. Sure they knew how unlucky this seemed, but Patton thought this was romantic. 

Logan had gotten Patton a book of old fairy tales. It sat at pride of place on their bookshelf in the same room as Logan's model of the place they had moved into. Logan seemed to meticulously change the model whenever he noticed any changes. It was one of his passions. 

Once Patton had come in and spray painted the thing one Christmas Eve. Logan wondered why such a thing would be done, but left it. Patton thought he felt an invisible pat on the back for this choice. Ha. Pat on! Patton! But yeah. That was creepy. It better not be a creepy crawly death dealer! 

Logan carefully pushed his glasses up his nose. It was a habit he had gotten into when he first had seen Patton doing the same thing. He looked down at a sign in the green and red monstrosity that was his model town. Had he even put that there? He would probably never know.

He and his husband Patton loved their relationship. It included just enough touching and romantic outings for both of them to be able to comfortably enjoy a nice relationship together. 

Today, for them, was a special day. It involved just one such outing. Logan had reserved a table at one of the fanciest restaurants in town. He had also reserved a green renewable energy car. It was a prototype model, he knew. He was willing to risk anything on the date with his Patton. 

It was a green and yellow buggy. Supposedly it was fueled completely on dandelion juice. It was almost too good to be true. Room to be appropriately romantic, room to be environmental, room to be happy, finally, with his beautiful husband. But it was not to be. 

It had been for the course of 13 years, and it seemed as though the universe had thought that was enough for the poor couple. Someone else would eventually claim the reservation for two, the unfortunate late couple Logan and Patton Maitland unavailable. 

This couple was not a couple at all, but rather a pair of dead people named Remy Sommeil and D. Ceitful. When doing routine work, such as delivering a manual that 'read like the phone book', one could take advantage of a reservation one Friday the Thirteenth made by a pair of restless spirits who sped into the side of a bridge. 

Sommeil just wanted some good old fashioned matcha. Was that too much to ask? 

The screams of the Maitlands were over in a few seconds. Logan now realized, as they were rooted to the house and couldn't leave, and his head was falling off every few seconds, that he and Patton were dead, and had been for a day so far. A new book sat at pride of place on the shelf. 

Patton took the book off of the shelf, read the title, and almost fainted. Instead, as he floated back up, he prepared himself to make the best dad joke in history.

"Handbook for the Recently Deceased? People must by dying to get a chance to ghostwrite this book!"

Logan facepalmed. 

"Give it here. I should see this. Might get us more adjusted to have someone who has memorized this piece of literature."

Well, literature not as in the case of a true book, but rather a pamphlet that says 'So your pet is a Secret Agent' type of literature. 

Patton gave a half smile and tried to hug Logan. 

"Well, kiddo, this may be a bit dense even for you. Trust me, I've skimmed through this thing! It reads just like the phone book!"

The For Sale sign in the front of the house stuck out like a sore thumb, didn't it? Well, if it was really there, then the Maitlands were about to have company. They probably needed some anyway. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Remy Sommeil went out to get some proper matcha. His favorite was the overly sweetened mess of a matcha that Starbucks happened to sell. Back when the Unicorn frapuccino was a thing, Remy thought that was heaven. But since he was undead, and had already went to where he was going to stay for eternity, he settled for matcha. 

The good, stable job he was provided with was a job with one downside. One could not get Starbucks whenever one wanted. But he was Remy Sommeil, and he knew how to make himself the go to coffee guy for his literal office building from hell.

He took out an impossibly long scroll of paper from his pants and a giant rainbow wallet. He would get his matcha, whatever it took! No one denies Remy matcha! Oh, and the rest of his Office Building from literal hell's orders. Those too. 

The barista was not one Remy knew, but after a long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long long list of orders, people did start being tired of the rather greyish greenish man and the long list. He knew how to deal. Pushing clumps of sleep salt, his own invention, at the line behind him, Remy kept ordering. 

Finally, after forever, with a line of slobbering zombies behind him, the barista called out the order. 

"1,120 drinks for a Sommeil..."

She seemed ready to pass out. Remy did her a favor and let her do so. 

Back at the office, Roman was the first to come up and ask for his drink and pink cake pop. 

"You do know a prince is supposed to stay caffeinated through thick and thin, Remy? How was I supposed to do that without my caramel machiatto, Remy? How?"

Remy just sighed and prepared himself for other rabid caffeine zombies to clamber right next to him, just close enough to grab their drink and go. Roman was a nice man. Too bad his brother was an unorthodox freelance criminal of a specter who made unorthodox freelance deals with other unorthodox specters, as well as those dumb enough to make deals with a guy like him. 

Good thing he was trapped somewhere, never to return. He never mistrusted D. on those kinds of things, even if D. was a compulsive liar. 

Whatever. He needed another matcha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. Did you catch any references? I did put a few in there. Well, anyway... And from now on IT'S SHOWTIME!!!! (I am so sorry for killing off Logicality! It had to be done!)
> 
> References: Pushing Daisies, Phineas and Ferb, A Series of Unfortunate Events


	2. Picani-Deetz’s

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She said the house wasn’t haunted. Guess she was wrong. Remy needed more matcha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long time no see on this fanfiction! Am sick today, the first day of finals, so decided to ‘rest’ by writing a chapter for my fans of this piece. Hope you enjoy!!!

Emile loved cartoons. Toby also loved cartoons. The only problem is that somehow they got engaged almost right after Toby’s husband died. This wasn’t a problem to them, of course. The only person who it was a problem for, really, was Virgil. Goth Virgil Deetz, who hated the idea that the ceremony would be rushed through, simply because the mourning couldn’t last too long, as they had planned to move away from it all. And, wouldn’t you know it, there was a perfect house for them that had just been put up for sale just the other day. The landlady had promised to the Deetz-Picani’s that there was absolutely nothing wrong with the house. The Deetz-Picani’s (save Virgil) agreed, although the lights were flickering on and off in the attic more than usually acceptable. It was a nice house, a nice bargain, a nice location. And Emile could set up anywhere, really. It was nice, to a point. Not that Virgil was planning on staying long.  
————————————————————————

Remus Prince’s current digs were less than desirable, no matter how much he enjoyed the entertainment. He’d been there for nearly forever years, courtesy of his former boss, Mr. Dee Ceitful. A few times he’d advertised to gullible people, hoping to get someone saying his name three times, but it never really worked. He heard his brother had his job now. It was annoying, but he had never really liked that job anyway. He turned towards the red spray painted sidewalk/AstroTurf in front of him and walked back into the club he spent most of his time at. Maybe something, someone, sometime, would fall for his ad, but for now, at least he could have some fun. He sipped his pickle brine martini and chewed at his deodorant. He swore he heard voices that weren’t seductive. They sounded like nerds. Rushing out of the club, he looked up at… a pair of newcomers. How convenient.  
——-—————————————————————

Remy needed another matcha, but he had already gotten his matcha for the day, Dee’s orders. But Dee didn’t restrict his powers. He, along with his sleep dust, could conjure. The things he conjured always tasted a bit off, but if Remy wants caffeine, he gets it. Hopefully Roman doesn’t ask for a refill on his caramel macchiato.  
————————————————————————-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a whole 3 minutes to write... I am talented like that.

**Author's Note:**

> It's showtime! Thanks for reading! 
> 
> References: Pushing Daisies, Phineas and Ferb, A Series of Unfortunate Events.


End file.
